


Of Burnt Toast and Morning Runs

by vyther15



Series: Birthday Candles AU [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bruce is mentioned once, Crack, Donuts, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Master Assassins, Pre-Slash, Tony is mentioned a lot, and a disaster human being, but he's not really in it so i didn't tag him, clint is a highly competent assassin, listen, more crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24376084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vyther15/pseuds/vyther15
Summary: Steve wakes up to the smell of something burning, which is strange, because the fancy smoke alarms Stark has every ten feet in the tower aren’t going off.Then he hears three different people cursing something out and decides to go see what the fuss is about.Steve follows the swearing into the kitchen, where he finds three master assassins cursing at a toaster.He is understandably confused.(Or, Clint ruins the toaster in the tower, so Steve takes three master assassins out for donuts at 5:30am)
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Series: Birthday Candles AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740373
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Of Burnt Toast and Morning Runs

**Author's Note:**

> For full context on the things I talk about in this note and the fic itself, I suggest reading Of Birthday Candles and Happy Reunions first.
> 
> So, it's not Bucky learning how to use a toaster, but there is a toaster mentioned. Plus, it's even crackier and fluffier than Birthday Candles, so I think I made up for it.
> 
> Also, i'm sorry there's no Tony. I really intended to have Tony and Pepper making up in this one, but I couldn't fit it in no matter how hard I tried. Tony will get his happy ending with Pepper eventually. I promise. I love Morgan, and she will show up somehow, without Infinity War and Endgame and all that stuff. But first Tony has to get himself pulled together and my version of AoU and Civil War has to happen.

Steve wakes up to the smell of something burning, which is strange, because the fancy smoke alarms Stark has every ten feet in the tower aren’t going off.

Then he hears three different people cursing something out and decides to go see what the fuss is about. He pulls on a tight t-shirt that he knows is too small for him, but SHIELD intern Wyatt Owens was so eager and so very obviously giving Steve’s muscles goo-goo eyes. Also, Steve didn’t want to deal with SHIELD more than necessary, so he’d decided he’d just go shopping on his own time.

(He hasn’t found the time yet. Aliens trying to destroy NYC was a bit more important than clothes shopping.)

Steve follows the swearing into the kitchen, where he finds three master assassins cursing at a toaster.

He is understandably confused.

\--

Steve relocates the three master assassins to the donut shop a block away from the tower. He’s surprised that it’s open this early, but the sign says 5am to 9pm. He’s taking full advantage of that to satisfy three master assassins. Natasha and Bucky follow him with no fuss. Clint follows with three pieces of charred toast and a pot of coffee.

Steve doesn’t ask.

Not even when Clint eats all three pieces of toast and downs the entire pot of coffee before they make it halfway to the donut shop. He’s learned that it’s better if he doesn’t ask what’s going on in Clint’s mind.

Bucky and Natasha make a beeline for the booth in the corner. It gives them a clear view of the entire shop. Clint, still carrying the empty coffee pot, asks the kid working the counter how much it would cost to fill up the entire pot with coffee. The kid splutters for a solid minute.

Steve finally takes pity on him and pushes Clint to the side. “You don’t need more coffee, Clint. What kind of donut do you want?”

Clint sticks his tongue out at him. “Sprinkles,” he says, and makes a show of stomping over to the booth. Steve pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I’ll take a cake donut with rainbow sprinkles for him, a glazed donut for Nat, a-- Do you have cherry filled or just cream?” The hand-drawn chalk menu on the wall behind him is unclear.

“Uh, yeah, we have cherry filled donuts,” the kid says, still recovering from Clint.

“A cherry filled for Buck, and I’ll take a cream filled.”

The kid pokes some buttons on the cash register, and then looks back at Steve. “That’ll be $23.87,” he says as the total pops up on Steve’s screen.

Steve pays and the kid turns around to pull out the donuts for him.

When he arrives at the booth, Clint immediately starts inhaling his donut. Bucky eats more slowly, and Nat tears hers apart, eating it in chunks.

“I don’t see why Tony had to mess with a perfectly good toaster. It doesn’t need to work that fast. I burned three pieces of toast before I figured out what he did to it!” Clint exclaims, spewing sprinkles from his mouth.

“You would have burned three pieces of toast even if he hadn’t messed with it, Clint,” Natasha snarks. She is not a heathen, and therefore does not have donut crumbs spewing from her mouth while she talks.

Clint is a heathen. He throws a napkin at her.

Bucky buries his head in his arms as if to hide from Natasha and Clint.

Steve mourns the loss of his morning run.

\--

“I’m going on a run,” Steve announces after the four of them have finished eating. It’s still barely light out, but he gets the feeling that he should stay out of the tower for the morning, and a run is the perfect excuse.

He does not want to get caught up in another prank war. The last time that happened, he ended up with glitter in places there should not be glitter, and someone had gotten pink dye into Natasha’s shampoo and conditioner. (Steve’s money is on Bucky, though he probably had help from Clint and Tony.)

Yeah, Steve is staying far away from the tower for a bit.

Bucky makes a distressed noise, but Natasha hauls him to his feet. “C’mon, up you go. Steve has already had to deal with Clint for too long today; let's go.”

“We could fiddle with the TV?” Clint suggests. He’d gotten five large coffees and poured them into the pot. The kid at the counter had looked horrified.

He honestly feels bad for him. He makes sure to leave a large tip.

“Clint, Bruce uses the TV. We can mess with Tony’s shower stuff.” Natasha takes the coffee pot from him. It’s already empty again.

Steve is definitely not going back to the tower before at least midnight.

\--

Bucky whines about Steve abandoning him to the wolves when Steve turns to go the opposite direction as the three assassins.

“Nope. Steve gets his run. Off we go,” Natasha orders, grabbing Bucky by his ear and dragging him behind her. Steve almost takes a picture for blackmail. Then he realizes Natasha would be in the picture too, and he doesn’t want a picture of Natasha anywhere within a hundred foot radius of the word blackmail.

That would be worse than Peggy’s trademarked Eyebrows of Disapproval. The thought of Peggy sends a pang through his chest, but he’s glad she got to live her life. He has a second chance to live his, thanks to her.

He walks to Central Park for his warm up and then stretches while plotting out his course. When he sees the man running by himself with no earbuds or anything, he smirks. Just because he wants to avoid the Tower’s pranks doesn’t mean he can’t have some fun of his own.

**Author's Note:**

> That's totally Sam. And Yes, I know Sam lives in DC but it's my fic and I do what I want. I need Sam to be in NYC so Sam will be in NYC. Deal with it.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments. I have more planned for this AU, but it will be slow coming out because I am a gremlin and suck at writing stuff with actual plot. I promise there's more coming with the plot side of things. All of the Avengers will show up eventually.


End file.
